It seems that everywhere I turn on social media—especially during Bout of Books—people are talking about their failures: what they didn’t accomplish, what they wanted to accomplish but were prevented by something or other.
And it needs to stop.
I almost wish I could single a person out and say, “Yes. She’s obsessed with failure,” but you only have to watch #boutofbooks during the first day to realize that people are quick to judge themselves as failing. And it’d be easier to ignore if it was only one or two people.
But too many are quick to label their progress (or lack thereof) as failure. Loudly and repeatedly. I’ve already said that it’s okay to fail, but here’s another one:
Failure is subjective.
YOU define what failure is. You set your goals. You can change them. You can forgive yourself if you don’t reach them. What’s more: constantly complaining of failure—or disappointment in your lack of progress—is a sign of negativity.
The thing is, positive people don’t let “failure” slow them down. If they don’t accomplish what they wanted to, they move on and focus what they can accomplish tomorrow, not announce their “failings” to Twitter and ruminate over what they, in reality, have no control over.
I said this during Bout of Books, and I’ll say it now: you have a choice in how you perceive a situation. You can choose a) to be bummed you can’t read as much as you want or b) to have fun.
Life is entirely what you make of it. You can choose to focus on your “failures” and all that you haven’t accomplished or you can choose to focus on what you have accomplished.
No matter how much you resist it—and yes, I’ve done a fair amount of resisting myself—your choices influence your happiness
Bout of Books gets exhausting, not because of the amount of work it requires, but because of the amount of negativity we’re exposed to. Complaining literally hurts your brain.
Think about that the next time you get on Twitter or open a new draft on your dashboard: complaining—talking about all your failures—hurts your brain and the brains of everyone else who has to listen to it. The other hard truth is this: you’re the only one who cares about your failures.
The rest of us are too concerned about our own problems to worry about yours.
And yeah, I get it. We want validation for our feelings and disappointments. But wallowing in your “failures” won’t change them. You can only move forward.
How often do YOU talk about your failures?