Fiction vs. Reality {Amanda’s Discussion}

Posted 11 April, 2014 by Amanda / 20 Comments

discussion

So. I don’t know about you, but sometimes romance novels make me feel incredibly unromantic or leave me wondering if I’m some sort of aberration because I find having sex all night to be exhausting and not something I’d ever like to attempt.

There seems to be a divide between what we read in fiction and what actually happens in real life. Here are a few I’ve noticed recently.

PS. Jenny has an epic post titled the same as mine, but hers involve conversations with her husband and are so worth the read.

1. When the characters make love all day (or night)

This is all well and great in a novel, but when I contemplate doing something like this in real life, it sounds exhausting. And awfully sweaty, which might be okay for a short little while (maybe), but eventually, I’d want a shower. And food. And an episode or ten of Futurama. You know, like, I need to do something else besides have sex.

And making love all night? Dude, just let me sleep.

2. When characters have a unique smell their love interest can always smell just by being close (e.g., sandalwood, male musk, flowers)

I have a thing about the word musk. I don’t like it. Guys, it’s basically a name that means TESTICLE in Sanskrit, if you believe Wikipedia, which describes it as a “penetrating odor.” Hold on, let me put some of my testicle perfume on for you to smell. Just. No.

And really, how strong does a scent have to be for you to easily smell it on someone? Unless you’re sticking your nose in their hair or skin (and that’s always a possibility, I suppose, if you get off on that and your partner’s okay with it or not paying attention), being able to smell someone is usually a sign they’ve put too much on. Or maybe they need a shower. I don’t know.

Immediately following a shower is when you get the best smells—no lie—and I have even been known to shove my feet in the boyfriend’s face and say, “Smell my feet!” right after I put essential oil and lotion on them. In my defense, they smell really good and sometimes it’s worth sharing the good stuff.

3. When the hero can bring the heroine to orgasm multiple times before penile penetration

Again, exhausting. At some point your lady parts are going to get tired and your stud is going to need to be taken care of, except you’re going to be so fuck-drunk you’ll barely be able to summon the energy to wave your hand and say, “You’re on your own, big guy.”

Orgasms are great and all, but do the ladies really have endless liquid supplies? This is why they tell you to hydrate, isn’t it?

What are some differences between fiction and reality you’ve noticed?

Filed under: Discussion,

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20 Responses to “Fiction vs. Reality {Amanda’s Discussion}”

  1. Okay, #2 literally made me laugh so hard that I cried. And still laughing . . .

    SO. I think I could be cool with sex all day (and by “all day” I mean with breaks for food and hygiene) a couple of times over the course of my LIFE, but yeah, all night sex–no way, leave me alone, I’m sleeping. As for individual scents wafting across a room to alert your lover to your presence . . . you either need to bathe, or lay off the perfume, dollface. And multiple Os . . . yeah, I’m with you. I’m pretty sure that could only lead to A. chafing, or B. catatonia.

    • Can you imagine? “Hey baby, do you smell me? If you don’t smell me right now, from all the way across the room, you don’t love me the way you should.”

  2. As part of the over 40 crowd just going to say #1 and #3 sound exhausting. They both might have been fine in my early 20’s (maybe) but now with work, life, dogs, and stuff—I would get exhausted just thinking about it. I would need a vacation afterword and not one of those sexy ones. More like one where I could rest up for days LOL I am with you on #2 :)

    • I think sex all day sounds fun IN THEORY. But wouldn’t your body eventually be like, “Nope. No more”? It’s like running a marathon. You don’t just go from the couch to running 26.2 miles. You gotta work up to it. And that would be a lot of sexin’. Would you have TIME to do anything else?

  3. His tantalizing musk wafted across the room, wrapping around her like a python preparing its prey.

    *bats lashes*
    I’m going to start using musk in everyday conversation. “Looking pretty musky today, Target stock boy.” “Your musk is attracting flies.” “I once knew a man with so much musk…”

    I think the musk is to help prime the lady for the multiple Os she’s about to get during their marathon bout of 24-hour sexin’.

    *nods*

  4. “And making love all night? Dude, just let me sleep.”

    This. Yes. Don’t mess with my sleep okay? I need it. I love it. I want it. Don’t try to invade it with your junk. And I couldn’t agree with you more on smells. I don’t want to smell Kevin’s musk from afar (or at all really), nor do I want the smell of our lovemaking to permeate the room as is so often the case in the romance novels. Reading something like that makes me want to open a window. Or wash my sheets. I can’t help it:)

    • Hahaha. “Dammit, put away your junk! I’m trying to sleep over here.”

      Oooh. Good call on the lovemaking smell. I guess that’s what happens when you get all musky with each other.

  5. So it’s not just me then? Those all-night love-making sessions just seem so…long. I’m tired, damnit. Let’s see if we can’t have an orgasm or two, spoon for a bit then you roll one way & I’ll roll another and we’ll actually get some sleep. You’ll be there in the morning (with wood, no doubt) and then we’ll see.

    And all those smells? Well, my allergies/sinuses have destroyed that but no way do I want my room to smell like lovemaking. Hi, welcome to my room of ill repute. My, my. I can smell your musky goodness from here. *headdesk*

    • It’s not just you! It’s just so loooong. And sleep is a good thing.

      “Welcome to my room of ill repute” needs to be in a book somewhere. With a snarky character saying it. Let’s make this happen.

  6. Okay, #3 killed me. It’s SO true. Like do all of these men have robotic arms, hands, and tongues? How do they not get bored? I am just so confused by these things. I NEED ANSWERS

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