Things I’ve Learned from Reviewing GLA Books

Posted 4 October, 2013 by Amanda / 8 Comments

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So. You knew this had to happen some time, right? Here’s what I’ve learned from reading and reviewing GLA books.

• Bigfoot is a sex-crazed hairy monster who just wants the lovin’ of an unsuspecting woman.

• Penises come in sizes from half an inch to twenty-four inches. While the twenty-four incher will crush your insides, the half-incher grows into a man-eating cock. Never trust the small ones.

• Beware of vaginas. You never know when a head might pop out. Or it just eats you.

• Those innocuous looking house plants? Tentacles in disguise. None of your orifices are safe. (Don’t worry, you’ll probably enjoy it despite yourself.)

• Lesbians can turn into male werewolves with eighteen inch cocks.

• Moose from the tundra will spoil you for all other men. (But not lesbians or other monsters.)

• Sometimes spunk is so potent that instant impregnation happens. “You are now with child.”

• Goat suckin’ is not and never will be hotter than it sounds.

• Don’t go into the forest. You’ll probably get ravished by a monster.

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8 Responses to “Things I’ve Learned from Reviewing GLA Books”

  1. “• Penises come in sizes from half an inch to twenty-four inches. While the twenty-four incher will crush your insides, the half-incher grows into a man-eating cock. Never trust the small ones.”

    Um. I have no words. A half-inch penis grows into a man-eating cock? *dies* I just…I can’t….I don’t even know what to do with that, Amanda. And I don’t even want to comment on the goat sucking. *shudders* Despite being scarred for life, this list has totally made my day.

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